CARRIE EBERHARDY, SANTA FE, NM
Because of a prior surgery, I found out early in pregnancy that I would need to have a scheduled C-section. I felt a sense of loss at not being able to have a natural birth, but I was so grateful to have had an easy and healthy pregnancy. Nursing seemed easy at first, but I soon realized that I struggled with my milk supply. The pediatrician offered a few practical tips and the advice to “give it my best shot,” but after about a month, we were advised to supplement with formula. I recall feeling so guilty and insecure when considering this possible necessity. The messaging around me and so many new mothers and gestational parents is that nothing will be as healthy for your newborn as breast milk. I felt not only self-imposed judgement, but judgement from other parents and from lactation support groups that are intended to provide a positive, nurturing environment, but still push the idea that breastfeeding is the only and best way to go.
I continued to try and build up my supply as I began to supplement with formula. After I went back to work, I spent a lot of time pumping at home and in my office between clients. While I was attending conferences, I would wander around during breaks until I found a room where I could have some privacy, but even with all of that time and effort, I would only produce a couple ounces at a time. It was hard not to feel like every new nursing parent around me had an over-supply of milk. After what felt like a number of months, I finally eased up on pumping and focused solely on nursing and we fell into a good rhythm of both nursing and formula-feeding. Our daughter was able to get the nourishment and comfort that she needed, while bonding with both my spouse and I during feeding times.
A friend told me a mantra that I still use to this day: “Good Enough Mother,” that originated from the pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. I have learned to let go of comparisons, judgements, and my perfectionist tendencies, which allowed for a beautiful nursing relationship with my daughter.
Carrie’s go-to recipe for a Curried Carrot and Coconut Soup.
Carrie Eberhardy (she/her/hers) is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker currently in private practice, offering psychotherapy services to a diverse range of clients as well as supervision and consultation services for individual and group psychotherapy practices. Carrie is passionate about social justice and anti-oppression, and works from this lens. She has been a meditation and mindfulness practitioner for over a decade and often incorporates mindfulness into her work with clients.
CURRIED CARROT AND COCONUT SOUP
Adapted from The New York Times. Original recipe can be found here.
This is a great soup for colder weather. While nursing, I added a small amount of Fennel powder or Fenugreek powder for extra galactagogues. Depending on your tolerance of spice and if it affects your breast milk, omit cayenne as necessary. The recipe really is true to two servings, so double it if you’re feeding more, want to have over a few days, or for storage in the freezer.
INGREDIENTS:
3 tablespoons butter
½ medium onion, roughly chopped
¾ pound carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch coins
1 teaspoon peeled, grated fresh ginger
½ teaspoon ground cumin, to taste
½ teaspoon ground tumeric, to taste
½ teaspoon ground coriander, to taste
Pinch of cayenne pepper
2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk
½ teaspoon Fennel of Fenugreek powder
Juice from ½ lime
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Cilantro, if you have it
DIRECTIONS:
Heat the butter until the foam subsides. Add the diced chopped onions, sprinkle with salt, stir to coat with butter. Add the chopped carrots along with the spices. Stir and cook until softened, about 10 minutes. (*Editor’s note: I added another tablespoon of butter after putting the carrots and spices into the pot as they seemed to dry up slightly and stick to the bottom of the pot.)
Add the stock; there should be enough to cover the vegetables. Bring the pot to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium and continue cooking until the carrots are cooked through, about 10 to 15 minutes.
If you have an immersion blender, purée the soup in the pot. If not, wait until the soup cools slightly, and purée in a food processor. Add enough coconut milk (and a little more stock or water if necessary) to bring the soup to the consistency you want. Stir in the Fennel or Fenugreek powder. Adjust the seasoning (depending on the stock you use, you may need more or less salt), and lime juice to taste. Garnish with chopped cilantro and serve.
Carrie Eberhardy (she/her/hers) is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker currently in private practice, offering psychotherapy services to a diverse range of clients as well as supervision and consultation services for individual and group psychotherapy practices. Carrie is passionate about social justice and anti-oppression, and works from this lens. She has been a meditation and mindfulness practitioner for over a decade and often incorporates mindfulness into her work with clients.
Posted October 11, 2018